I Do It Mytelf

If Dan blogs, then I have to blog ... after all, we can't have him having the last word! Just kidding - well kind of.

I am glad that Dan posted pictures of our nursery. We are very proud of it and are excited to see it fill up with all kinds of goodies from clothes to diapers and much much more -- oh yeah, and the baby! And just to note - NO, the dogs cannot and will not jump into the crib on their own. So don't worry! We had to pick them up and place them in the crib and they honestly didn't like it all that much. So no, Amabo won't have any furry visitors joining her in the middle of the night. After telling someone, though, about how the dogs were in the crib, the remark was "Oh, so now you have to vacuum the crib?" My response, "What? Are you kidding me?" Seriously friends, Amabo will have to get used to dog hair sooner or later because it runs rampant in our house...what better way then to just add it to the crib?

As we approach the end of this journey....only 10 more weeks now...the reality is starting to set in. On the one hand, 10 weeks feels like an eternity. On the other hand, I cannot believe that we are only 2 1/2 months away. Where did the last 7.5 months go? So, as we reach the finish line, I would like to put out a request to friends and family. Please pray for us and Amabo. Pray for our peace and comfort as we approach the most joyous and the hardest time in our lives, pray that all continues to go well with the last leg of this pregnancy and most of all, pray for Amabo's health and safety as God finishes making her ready for us.

As I reflect on the journey behind us and the journey that lies ahead, I came to one of the hardest realizations of my life - I cannot do this on my own. So many times in my life, I have relied on myself to get things done - so much so that we have a common phrase in my family to describe my personality -"I Do It Mytelf." This is what I would say as soon as I could start talking - my mom would try to help me brush my teeth. My response, "I do it mytelf." My mom would help me get dressed. I would push her away saying, "I do it mytelf." That started maybe when I was three (I am a little fuzzy on the timeline!), but the mentality is something that has been with me ever since. By golly, don't help me, I will do it myself! So realizing that being a mother is not something that I can do on my own was a humbling experience. You see, all I have wanted to do for the past 7 plus months and all I want to do for the next rest of Amabo's life is protect her. This is an overwhelming feeling of responsibility - especially when I realized that there are some things that are and will be beyond my control. For the past week and half, I have been so wrought by this this feeling of responsibility, that my every day life has been impacted. How is it that God trusts me so much to give me the ability to care for another human child? How can I possiblty care about anything else other than this tiny child that I have yet to meet?

I am not sure if my rambling is making a bit of sense tonight. And I am sure that even I will read it later and think, "what was I talking about?" But maybe, some of you are understanding exactly what I mean and perhaps I don't even need to go further.

Apologies for the less than humorous blog....I promise there will be more funny stories to tell later. For now, please add us to your prayers.