Germs

After an event at work yesterday evening, a coworker remarked to me, "You're going to let your child eat of the floor, aren't you?" 5 second rule! You may wonder what sparked this comment - It isn't really relevant to the story. Here is my take on germs - exposure to germs builds immunity! And as my assistant pointed out, she was born in a third world country and lived there for several years before moving to the United States - and she never gets sick. So there you have it.

We went to the doctor today - we are now on the every two weeks schedule. It will be like this until week 36, when I will go in once a week until the baby is born. Today we had another ultrasound - this was a follow-up to the 3D ultrasound we had done about two weeks ago. During that ultrasound, the sonographer noticed that one of the lateral ventricles in the brain was measuring at the high end of normal. So what does this mean? It means nothing, thankfully! I will get to what it could have meant in a minute after I tell you the information we got today. The sonographer measured again and while the lateral ventricle is still measuring large, it hasn't gotten any larger, which is great news. It means that fluid is not building up in her little brain. Both the sonographer and the doctor were very pleased and ordered no future ultrasounds and declared the issue "resolved."

What could it have meant? Well, a number of things. If the ventricle continued to get larger it would mean that fluid was not draining from the brain properly. In many cases this condition is mild and usually resolves itself after birth. In other cases, it means more - the child might have to have brain fluid drained upon birth, might have to have surgeries to deal with this and it could also mean more serious problems like brain tissue damage, which as we know could mean a whole host and range of other issues.

So when I got the call two weeks ago after the 3D ultrasound from my doctor to say that the ventricle was measuring at the high end of normal and they wanted me to do another ultrasound in two weeks to monitor the situation, my mind started racing. The doctor didn't seem concerned on the phone, but this news had Dan and I very anxious. I spent the next 48 hours surfing the internet looking for information, finally finding some sites that had stories from the very good to the very very bad. The upsetting thing about it was that I had no control - there was absolutely nothing that I could do to fix it for Amabo. Nothing. Even if the ultrasound today would have revealed that the ventricle was larger, there is still nothing that can be done until the baby is born - other than worry. I felt completely helpless and completely alone. For the first time since this journey began, I prayed for Amabo by her real name (even though God knows who she is regardless). I have spent the past two weeks in nothing but prayer, praying for peace.

Looking back over the last 14 days, it would be easy to say that all of this worry was for naught. But, that is not the conclusion that I came to today. I learned a lot in the last two weeks, about myself, about my ability to love and most of all about my faith. I know that not all of our readers are of the spiritual variety - so I won't blame you if you quit reading here. But, I want to say that this is the second time in my entire life that I have handed my worries completely over to God and he took care of me - immediately. I didn't pray for the outcome that I wanted, I just handed my worries to God and prayed for comfort and strength.

So, now you know the rest of the story behind my previous blog. I apologize to family and friends for not sharing all of this sooner, but I went through several stages of emotion before I could really talk about all of my fears and worries for Amabo - I first had to process what the doctor had told me two weeks ago, then I had to fact find all the information available about the possible condition, and then I had to let it go. And in the process of letting go, I had to get to today. And if the outcome had been differently today, I would have shared at that point because I would have known much more. But for the past two weeks all we could do was wait and I knew that in the emotional state I was in, I would not be able to handle all the inquiries. So, I just asked for your prayers. So, thank you, for helping me through your prayers.

I Do It Mytelf

If Dan blogs, then I have to blog ... after all, we can't have him having the last word! Just kidding - well kind of.

I am glad that Dan posted pictures of our nursery. We are very proud of it and are excited to see it fill up with all kinds of goodies from clothes to diapers and much much more -- oh yeah, and the baby! And just to note - NO, the dogs cannot and will not jump into the crib on their own. So don't worry! We had to pick them up and place them in the crib and they honestly didn't like it all that much. So no, Amabo won't have any furry visitors joining her in the middle of the night. After telling someone, though, about how the dogs were in the crib, the remark was "Oh, so now you have to vacuum the crib?" My response, "What? Are you kidding me?" Seriously friends, Amabo will have to get used to dog hair sooner or later because it runs rampant in our house...what better way then to just add it to the crib?

As we approach the end of this journey....only 10 more weeks now...the reality is starting to set in. On the one hand, 10 weeks feels like an eternity. On the other hand, I cannot believe that we are only 2 1/2 months away. Where did the last 7.5 months go? So, as we reach the finish line, I would like to put out a request to friends and family. Please pray for us and Amabo. Pray for our peace and comfort as we approach the most joyous and the hardest time in our lives, pray that all continues to go well with the last leg of this pregnancy and most of all, pray for Amabo's health and safety as God finishes making her ready for us.

As I reflect on the journey behind us and the journey that lies ahead, I came to one of the hardest realizations of my life - I cannot do this on my own. So many times in my life, I have relied on myself to get things done - so much so that we have a common phrase in my family to describe my personality -"I Do It Mytelf." This is what I would say as soon as I could start talking - my mom would try to help me brush my teeth. My response, "I do it mytelf." My mom would help me get dressed. I would push her away saying, "I do it mytelf." That started maybe when I was three (I am a little fuzzy on the timeline!), but the mentality is something that has been with me ever since. By golly, don't help me, I will do it myself! So realizing that being a mother is not something that I can do on my own was a humbling experience. You see, all I have wanted to do for the past 7 plus months and all I want to do for the next rest of Amabo's life is protect her. This is an overwhelming feeling of responsibility - especially when I realized that there are some things that are and will be beyond my control. For the past week and half, I have been so wrought by this this feeling of responsibility, that my every day life has been impacted. How is it that God trusts me so much to give me the ability to care for another human child? How can I possiblty care about anything else other than this tiny child that I have yet to meet?

I am not sure if my rambling is making a bit of sense tonight. And I am sure that even I will read it later and think, "what was I talking about?" But maybe, some of you are understanding exactly what I mean and perhaps I don't even need to go further.

Apologies for the less than humorous blog....I promise there will be more funny stories to tell later. For now, please add us to your prayers.

Just Checking In

It’s been a while and I thought I would do a little blog update. Luckily, SC has been doing great at keeping people abreast of our situation and her health. I think I have said this before but I will say it again, I am excited that she likes the blog and participates so much. Otherwise, you would have to hear more from me when she is the one with the stories.

We went up to DC this week for the inauguration. Unfortunately, we were one of the thousands of people with tickets that were turned away for one reason or another, but we can say that we were there. While in our ticketed line to get in, the crowd started to get restless so we got out before there was some real pushing and shoving. SC did well and tolerated the crowds longer than I did. I was very protective of her and if we had not gotten out when we did, I may have been the only person arrested trying to keep people off of her.

We head back to the doctor next week for a check up so please keep us in your thoughts and prayers. The nursery has come a long way and looks like an actual place a baby would sleep and hang out. In the upcoming months we will be having the baby showers so that should be a good time. I hear the guy doesn’t have much of a role at them and that is fine with me. We have also signed up for an Infant CPR and First Aid class in the coming month. Until next time, I am out!

Let them eat cake....in moderation

I had the three-hour glucose test yesterday and in an effort to try and pass I googled all the different ways that I could try and "trick" the test to make sure I passed! Ha! My google searches turned up very little, except for other pregnant women who were asking the same sorts of questions. I got the results back this morning and I do not have gestational diabetes - which is a good thing; however, one of the four blood tests they took yesterday did come back high for blood sugar, so I have been advised to cut back on the sugars. I didn't intake a lot of sugar anyway, but I will now be cutting out processed sugars as well.

I will be writing more later - probably over the weekend. For now, I just wanted to offer a quick update on the glucose test.

Just Blame the Pregnancy

The lesson learned for the week ... Any pain, discomfort or otherwise unexplainable phenomenon can be explained away by pregnancy.

I visited the doctor today for a follow-up to last week's urgent care visit and the doctor reiterated that I had a dilated ureter. My question: "What caused this?" His answer: "Pregnancy." Translation: "Unfortunately for you, that means the pain could come back." Apparently, the way the veins on the right side of the body cross with the ureter, coupled with engorged uterus can sometimes create for very unpleasant experiences in the kidneys, ureter and bladder of a pregnant woman. There is nothing that we can do about it. The good news is that I don't have to go see the urologist unless the pain comes back. In that case, I will go see the urologist and see if they can put in a stint to relieve some of the pressure. In the meantime, though, I am pain-free and going to enjoy it while I can!

Next doctor's appointment - Next Wednesday for my three-hour glucose test to determine if I have gestational diabetes. I will have to take some sort of project with me because I will be stuck at the doctors office from 8:00 am - 11:00 am. Maybe they can give me a room so that I can at least take a nap. That would be half-way enjoyable. The good news about next week is that we are also having the 3D ultrasound done in the middle of the glucose test...so that will be a good diversion at 10:00 am. And hopefully we will get an answer about whether or not it is really a girl! I would hate to have to change the name from Amabo to straight Obama. But if we have to, then so be it.

My Belly Button is Getting Shallower

So, I knew that it would happen one day ... when my inny would become an outy. But I often wondered how it would happen. In case you are wondering, no, it is not quite there yet, but it is definitely shallower than it was. What I wondered mostly about was would it happen overnight or would it happen gradually. Well, it turns out it is happening gradually. Now it could still be that I wake up one morning and poof - it's an outy, but for now, it is just getting shallower and shallower.

Now, you may think this is a strange thing to blog about. You are right. And if you know me, you also know that this is something that I probably wouldn't want to blog about. But, after you have blogged about needing to go to the bathrom and having a renal ultrasound, pretty much anything becomes fair game. So here I am, talking about my belly button. Trust me, there are much worse things I could blog about at this point, but I will spare the readers.

On another note - if you read the previous post, then it is most likely that you have called or emailed me to say "how are you feeling?" The answer to that question is that miraculously I feel great. I have had no pain since the Drs visit on Friday, which I am thankful about. Again, I realize this could change any minute, just like my belly button, but I am enjoying myself for now. I did get two calls from the Drs office today: One to say that my renal ultrasound showed a dilated ureter. What does that mean? I have no idea. It means that I go to see a urologist at some point in the near future so that they can rule everything out. Don't get me wrong - I googled dilated ureter and apparently I am not dying and neither is the baby. So that's a good thing. Apparently a dilated ureter can be caused by a number of reasons, one of those reasons is being pregnant. The second call from the doc: I failed my glucose screening.

Seriously! I failed a test. Being a mostly A student in school, I did not fail many tests. In fact, I think in college I only failed one test and that was in Chemistry. I fortunately did well on the other tests and the finals and still ended up with a B in the class. I added that B to other one I got in economics. So hearing that I failed my glucose screening test is not only a shot at my ego, but it is also possibly a shot at my health for the remaining 13 weeks. I realize that gestational diabetes is not that big of a deal and completely controllable and most often only lasts for the duration of the pregnancy, but really? Another thing to think about on top of my dilated ureter??? So what happens now? I go back for the three hour screening test next Wednesday. That's right - I have to sit at the docs office for three hours while they test my blood once every hour. If I continue to get abnormal tests then I will be diagnosed with gestational diabetes and will have to go on a diet. I'll know more next week.

Meanwhile, I had a cupcake tonight at a work event, along with two pieces of pizza. I may as well get those bad carbs and sugars in before the doctor tells me I can't have em! I am also continuing the water regimen. I am nearly drowning in all the water I am drinking and the trips to the bathroom are frequent.

I talk about how much I don't enjoy being pregnant...and it is true. Right now, I can't imagine having to do this a second time. But truthfully, it hasn't been that bad. Yes, I was sick, yes I have been in pain - but everything has been mostly manageable. It just feels like a lot all at once, especially this past week with the pain and the docs visit. So it isn't really the physical toll that this pregnancy is taking on me, it is the emotional toll - partially brought on by myself because I am a planner, a worrier, and in most cases a perfectionist. Perhaps pregnancy is designed to get us Type A personalities ready for being a mother - eventually I am going to have to throw planning and perfectionism out the window and give way to the spontaneous and unpredictable world of motherhood.

You think you know your body...

So, you think you know your body, huh? Well, become pregnant and prepare to throw everything you thought you knew out the window and start from scratch.

It all began Sunday morning with what appeared to be a routine 3:00 am trip to the bathroom. Not a rare event for a woman of my condition. I came back to bed only to find myself feeling like I needed to visit the bathroom again only moments later. After about 20 minutes of this, I decided to come downstairs and leave my sleeping husband sleeping. I was awake in this condition for the next four hours and got to watch the end of My Best Friend's Wedding and Spanglish - if you haven't seen it, don't bother. I love Adam Sandler and usually love his movies, but this did not live up to the likes of Waterboy and Billy Madison.

I digress....

So I went back to bed around 7:00 am and got up around 9:30. I felt better, although very tired. So I didn't think much about it. Just chalking it up to being pregnant in all of its grandeur. Not until it happened again on Monday morning and then again on Tuesday morning did I decide to go to the doctor. You know it was bad if I went to visit the doctor, because I usually go to the doc kicking and screaming. I had a little bit of pain associated with this terrible sensation on Tuesday morning, but it was gone by the time I got to the doctor. No big deal. The doctor's diagnosis: It could be the baby kicking a nerve or it could be something else. Hard to say. Really? So I may be in this state for the next three months? Wonderful! She recommended a few things to try at home and a few vitamins to add to my handful already. I did these things and had a great night's sleep on Tuesday night and felt great all day on Wednesday. And here is where the story gets interesting....

I woke up on Thursday at 5:00 am in excruciating pain. The only time I felt good was in a warm bath or a hot shower. Eventually, I took some tylenol and the pain subsided enough that I could sleep. This continued all day long. The pain was only bad in the morning on Thursday and the rest of the time it was manageable. I had a scheduled docs appt on Friday morning anyway, and as long as I could manage the pain, I figured I would wait it out rather than spend the money on a visit to the ER (we are gonna need that money when Amabo makes her entrance!). Well, I woke up again at 3:30 this morning with a little pain, took some tylenol and it went away until 5:30 am. On a pain scale of 1-10, I was at about 20. Just ask my husband. I could barely breathe or talk, or walk. I called the doctor's office just before 6:00 am. Who was on call? That's right, friends...Dr. No! Just what I need. I was certain that he was going to tell me if only I had laid off the juice this wouldn't be happening. Well - I will say, I was pleasantly surprised. He was delightful and informative on the phone - even comforting. He listened to everything I had to say and gave me a recommendation to wait until I came into the docs office at 8:00 am rather than come to the hospital. After I arrived at the docs office, I was immediately put in an exam room - they couldn't have the other patients see me writhing in pain; I might scare them! I was waiting for my favorite doctor to come in (that's the one my appt was with), and in walked Dr. No. He stood by my side, told me that Dr. McFave was on the way, and told me that he knew that it hurt and that they were going to make sure I got some pain meds and got me all fixed up.

Okay - so remember that whole "rewind sound", tape pauses and I speak directly to the camera? Well, had I not been in so much pain, this would have happened, but be that as it may, it happened afterward. I enjoyed seeing Dr. No this morning - and wasn't it nice of him to come check on me? So - it is totally okay if he delivers my female fetus, even if he did lack enthusiasm for the baby girl and even if he did call me a cow.

Well once Dr. McFave arrived, he checked me out, monitored Amabo and was very pleased with her heart rate and movement - she was not in distress at all during any of this. Then he gave me a perscription for pain meds should I need it and referred me for an urgent renal ultrasound. Well - by the time I left the docs at 10:30 am this morning, the pain had completely left me. Go figure. And it is hasn't been back since. Nonetheless, I still went in for the ultrasound, but won't know anything until probably Monday. So here is the diagnosis so far: 1) Baby sits on a nerve, pinches it, inflames it and it causes all kinds of pain OR 2) Kidney Stones. Either way, the treatment is the same - GALLONS of water and pain management. Right now, I have no pain, so I am just chugging the water.

In some ways, I hope that I can blame this on kidney stones. That way, I will know that there is at least an end in sight. But, I wouldn't be surprised if this is all the work of little Amabo, stretching and kicking. I am certain that I have a lot of payback coming for everything I put my parents through...so this is probably just the beginning of the next many many years to come.