Its a Girl

It’s a GIRL. I found my self in the ultrasound room, tears flowing down my face. I am shocked how excited I was to find out. Initially I would have bet anything, and my public statement was that “ I am breeding a boy, bottom line.” But inside, I knew I was indifferent, but the emotions that hit me when they told me was a surprise. I think in deepest part of my stomach, I wanted a girl. Enough on that, she is perfectly healthy; we like to request that we all stop calling her Area 51 baby and it. If you catch us doing that please gently remind us that she has feelings and we will save later stages in life to be called names by her peers.

Sentimentalism

I generally consider myself sentimental. I keep things from my past, I cry during all the appropriate parts of movies, books, etc...But, I am not sentimental about this whole pregnancy thing. So this had me thinking - what exactly is the dictionary definition of sentimental? Maybe I am missing something. Here is what I found:

1.	expressive of or appealing to sentiment, esp. the tender emotions and feelings, as love, pity, or nostalgia: a sentimental song.

2.	pertaining to or dependent on sentiment: We kept the old photograph for purely sentimental reasons.

3.	weakly emotional; mawkishly susceptible or tender: the sentimental Victorians.

4.	characterized by or showing sentiment or refined feeling.

Yep - that defines me in many other areas in life but not this one. So why is that? Why am I not expressive with tender emotions and feelings about this whole thing? During a conversation today at work, while looking at somebody's wedding pictures of the bride crying during the ceremony, I was asked "Does it remind you of your wedding?" My response, "Yes, but I wasn't crying." Really, I wasn't crying? I was surprised to hear myself say that, afterall, I am a sentimental person, but it is true - there were no tears on my wedding day. So why is this? It's because I am a planner. When it comes to big events, whether life changing or a trip to NY, I plan every detail, using excel spreadsheets, cataloging information in notebooks, etc... And here in lies one of the reasons that I am not sentimental about this whole baby thing.

Now, I have no doubt that once he or she is here, I will be saving everything from the baby's first spoon to the baby's first stuffed animal, to the baby's first (you name it). But for now, here is pretty much what I think about: Baby comes in early April. What does this mean?
November - finish bonus room walls and paint
- pick a day care and get on the waiting list
- amend budget for 2009 in order to pay for day care
- determine how much vacation time I have built up for maternity leave
December - Lay floor in bonus room and have furniture moved in by Christmas
- do this while preparing to host Thanksgiving and Christmas shop
- also put up all the Christmas decorations during this time
- don't forget the Christmas cards
- don't forget to speak with HR about maternity leave
December - Travel to Asheville
January - Begin working on nursery
- start thinking about showers, hosts, guest lists etc.
February - Finish Nursery
February - Attend maternity classes
March - attend "Breastfeeding for dummies"
March - wrap up job, figure out who can take over some of the day to day things
And finally: Do all of these planning things while I continue to work full time, building the Student Affairs development plan, put together trips for visiting prospects as well as events to find prospects in 3-4 major cities from February-April. Not to mention, that I still have things to do at the house, laundry, being a dog mom, a wife, etc..etc...

Now - I am not complaining, trust me! For the readers, you might say, "Just Relax...all of this stuff will get done." Well, frankly, I am not really worried about it getting done, because it will. And I know this, because I will plan to get it done and for me, there is no other way for it to happen. But, this is some insight into the way my brain works. I don't just sit and relax and enjoy the moment. Does this make me a bad person? You might think so, but I don't think it is really a bad thing. It is who I am. I also never do one thing at a time - so this is typical. Does it mean that I run ragged occasionally? Yes, but that is okay with me - I like to have a busy schedule.

A co-worker recently asked me if I was ok. I was surprised at this question. She said that I just looked doom and gloom now, not like a few months ago when I was smiley and happy. Hmmm...interesting assessment. I told her that I was just tired. And frankly I am. Now, don't get me wrong, I appreciate the "sentiment" of this person in asking how I was. But, this is also the same person who said something to the effect of "you should be so happy and glowing..." Well, happy I am, but glowing, doubtful. I am not glowing because I have a lot that I am thinking about right now and a lot I need to get done.

So, I know that there are a lot of women who loved being pregnant and also a lot of women who would like to say (or have already said to me) that this is a blessing and I ought to be happy. Well, I am happy and they are right - this is a blessing. But it is truly a means to a more miraculous end for me. And then, I can be sentimental...

The room is coming along nicely

Only a few more days and hopefully we will find out the sex of the area 51 baby. Not a day goes by that I don’t worry about this whole process. I think though, that is a good thing. I have tons of questions racing through my mind, and for every answer two more pop up. I really hope I don’t screw this up.

On another note, the work on the bonus room is progressing quite well. Today we finished the insulation installation and I think dry wall is the next step. I think its going to be a pretty decent room and cant wait for it to be finished.

S is starting a show a little more but remains petite to be 18 weeks along. There have been a couple of trips to the store that people in her condition shop, but a colleague of hers gave her some clothes the other day. If S had it her way, she would kick at home until it is born so she could just lounge all day in sweats. Unfortunately, not being independently wealthy this is not an option so having things she can wear to work is a good thing.

I am excited about all the things I want to do with it once it gets here. Last night was Halloween so I know that is a long ways away but I think that is going to be fun. As we went fast food this a.m. at McD’s I saw a man and his child going in, I want to do that. We went to a sheep herding trial today, I think that would be fun to do with it. SC is going to a show tomorrow, that might not be fun to do so it could stay with me and watch football (just joking, it could do what it wanted to)

Well Tuesday is the election so I wouldn’t expect much out of me till Friday. Peace. DC

The latest and greatest udpate...

This whole pregnancy thing is starting to seem more real every day. What makes you say this you ponder? Well there are many things; here are some that come to mind quickly as I try to finally put a post together as SC sits at the piano at a late hour. Tomorrow want to guess what we are doing? We are going to look at some daycares in our neighborhood. You heard correctly, we are visiting daycares. She that must be obeyed is almost 17 weeks along, check the counter at the top of the page for yourself, yet we have to go look at daycares since many of them often have long waits.

The other reality is that daycare is going to cost more per month than our house. Now don’t get me wrong I am not complaining about the price, they have a large responsibility and there is a huge trust factor that goes into this decision, so price is what it is as long as they take care of Area 51 baby. Not sure if we have mentioned that yet or not. We refer to this as the process, and the kid as it, and the Area 51 baby because at this juncture the pictures we have of it resemble an alien life form, I hope that changes. Where was I, I don’t know what I expect to find out tomorrow. I don’t think I am going to walk in to any place and see them abusing the children at all, I am sure they keep the roughneck workers in the back and abused kids out of sight from people like us.

I also imagine if we ask questions, the answers would be like asking a waiter what’s good on the menu. Our next door neighbor is going through the same process as we are and its due any day now, we are fortunate that we can learn from them and they have already chosen a daycare close to the homestead. Is it bad if we just rely on them? They are awesome people surely made rationale decisions on this choice of day care. UPDATE: baby C has entered the world; I cannot wait to meet her.

The baby bump is slowly but surely beginning to take shape. We were in Tennessee this past weekend spending time with family. A good time was had by all, our house was a blast but I think at the next trip we will be moved into the kid house. Such is life. On the way out of town, we stopped at the outlet stores for some shopping. I decided to buy yet another pair of golf shoes; I own more golf shoes than some people on shoes. The most important thing to come out the trip was some clothes for the ever changing body of SC. What a concept that they have a store dedicated to pregnant women. She picked up some nice things that look great on her. The jeans are her favorite and she got some real nice tops that look great on her.

A little over a week and half away we hopefully will know more about the sex of the child. All along, we have said that we want healthy and done. I think there are some things of each sex that make them uniquely special. I know I have already been looking at the cool clothing options out there, I see little cheerleading outfits that rock and little football uniforms that are special as well. This whole process is still mind boggling to me, not a day goes by that I don’t think about it. I am still very apprehensive about being a father; I hope I don’t blow it. I apologize that it has been so long between posts, hopefully that will get better. I imagine that there will be one next Friday worse case scenario. And for the love of God and all things holy feel free to share any advice you may have, it would be appreciated.

My new love

So, I have been avoiding the buying of new clothes for "my condition." Not that I don't like shopping, but spending money on clothes that can be worn for a limited time only is not exactly my idea of fun. That said, I did recognize the need to invest in a pair of pregnant lady jeans, seeing as how my current clothes, although still fitting, are not all that comfortable any more. I received an email from Motherhood Maternity stating that jeans were on sale and I decided to stop by and see. The lady at the store was eager to help me and sell me things - she told me about nursing bras (which I don't think I need yet), she tried to sell me a summer dress (I will be pregnant big in the winter) and I repeatedly and nicely told her that I was just here to buy the jeans. And I did. Coincidentally, I also purchased a brown sweater jacket that looked good on me now (during a less pregnant state) so I figure I will get some use out of it after the fact.

I got home and immediately showed Dan my new "secret fit" maternity jeans. Secret fit refers to the giant panel of seamless spandex that goes around the top of them to hide giant and growing pregnant bellies. Dan took one look at the jeans and said "those aren't jeans, that's a dress...." Oh, Dan - there is so much you don't know. So I put my new pregnant lady jeans on and proceeded to marvel at two things: 1) How comfortable these new pants were and 2) the amazing stretch ability in the secret fit spandex. So stretchy in fact that I could fit an entire pillow in my pants!!! This is amazing! I have found what I have always been looking for - a pair of pants to wear at the Thanksgiving table! So my new pants are my new love. So much so that I nearly slept in them on Monday evening. I must go buy another pair because this pair is sure to wear out soon!

So, while much of this pregnant business has not been wonderful (I may hit the next person who says, "Oh, I loved being pregnant"), I am starting to find the joy in the small things that will come with being sick, being tired and gaining weight. I already found joy in guilt-free trips to McDonald's for chocolate shakes and a large fry.

25 Weeks to Go...

Whew - It has been a while since we posted. I am sure our readers are getting anxious to see what we will write next. So we went in for week 15 drs visit yesterday and all still looks good. I was hoping for another ultrasound, but didn't get one - despite my telling the doctor that I had a little fall in the shower earlier that morning. No, I wasn't just trying to con my way into seeing the baby again, I really did slip, but just kindda slid down the side of the shower and didn't really fall.

We did hear the heart beat though - that was cool. 147 BPM, which the doctor politely reminded us that despite the wives tales, this is not a gender predictor. I did google it anyway and I found a study that said there is a 50% chance I am having a girl if the BPM are above 140.

Other things - we are finishing off the room above the garage. And when I say we, I mean my dad. He's a trooper. Has been over several nights per week putting in boards, putting in walls, etc..etc... Says we'll be done by Christmas. Which is good - it means we will have 3 months to get everything else in place, whatever that means.

We are finally sharing the news more publicly these days. In fact, I informed Dan that there are no longer any rules to who we can and cannot tell. I asked him today who has he told and he said "no one." I called him a liar. He said, "I wanted to make sure you didn't change your mind about telling." He knows me well. He also knows that once the enthusiasm from yesterday's drs visit wears off, I will be back to not telling people just in case. Yes, I am crazy. It's fine with me.

The dogs are starting to realize that something is up. They can't understand why we now make them sit when we enter the house whereas before it was insanity with jumping up on us. They cannot understand why they can no longer jump from the arm of the couch onto me while I am sitting in the chair. Boy, are they in for a rude awakening? We have pretty much figured out that Keeper won't care, Wrigley will drown the baby with her kisses and Fly may eat it.

That's about it for now. We are going to a pumpkin patch tonight to pick pumpkins, eat candied apples and drink apple cider. A tradition I hope to continue once there are little ones in our lives.