Birthing Class and More

A little less than 6 weeks (40 days to expected due date which happens 5% of time) to go and I think we both are starting to get real excited and nervous about the arrival of Amabo. I know SC will be glad to have her ribs back to herself. I can’t imagine what she is going through but she is being a real trooper. We had a baby shower this past weekend in Asheville. The generosity that our friends and families have shown throughout this process has been simply incredible, thank you, thank you, thank you! We got some many great and wonderful gifts that they would not fit in the car and will have to be transported to Raleigh at a later time. We have a large car and a rooftop carrier yet had to leave stuff in Asheville. I refused to overcrowd the dogs in the back and Sarah was adamant that we could not leave her mother in Asheville. We can never express how thankful we are to all the folks around us during this time in our lives.

With new gifts there will come a new inventory. Not sure if we mentioned that, we have inventoried all of her clothes to see what gaps we have and what we need to fill and see what we are missing and need to get. There is a doctors appointment on Wednesday and after I think they increase in frequency to one a week. I am working a photography project her room. I am taking pictures of stuff in the world that looks like letter of the alaphabet and we plan to spell her name out in framed pictures. This has been a real fun project and I hope it turns out well.

Birthing class has been fun and enjoyable so far. Our teacher is this old and crazy (in a good way) lady and it is weird to hear talk about birth. On top of that she has a lazy eye and I never know which one to look at when she talks. We told her about Amabo being in a breech position and she talked to us during a break and gave us some off the record remedies that we may be able to use to entice Amabo to flip; off the record of course. One involves a Chinese Roman candle of some sort and touching your pinky toe. There was one that had SC putting an ice pack on Amabo's noggin side of her stomach while holding something warm at the the other end to encourage her to flip. We will let you know what method we use and the resutls. We watched the birthing video and I was not that impressed, I thought it would be a little more graphic. The tour of the hospital was informative; Rex is clearly the best place to have a kid in the area. The place is so secure that the kid will have an anklet and bracelet (hopefully only time she will have to wear these) and if she gets too close to the exits of the birthing center the place goes automatically on lockdown. Doors lock and no one is able to get out to the situation is resolved. Tonight’s class is a simulation of what will be going on during the process so we will see how that goes. That's about all for now, its getting more real everyday and I get goosebumps thinking that good lord willing, I will be holding her soon.

A Breeched Amabo

Amabo's head is creating so much pressure in my ribs that I am completely convinced that she will come out with permanent rib indentations in the side of her head! Hopefully she will have good hair - otherwise it is going to be a hard road in elementary school.

Seriously ... this is ridiculous. Do all pregnant women have this kind of pressure? Not to mention the fact that my stomach is now living uncomfortably in my throat, along with my lungs and whatever organs are in the region.

I recently found a website about turning a breech baby - one of the suggestions was do a hand stand in the pool. Since I have a water aerobics class for pregnant women every Tuesday, I thought that tonight would be a good opportunity to do this. Let me just state a couple things for the record: 1) I am not a graceful person. 2) I am not a good swimmer...I know, you would think, well, it's just a hand stand, you don't have to swim. Let me restate this ... I like to lounge in the pool - preferably with a drink that includes a small toothpick umbrella. Water aerobics (which does not involve swimming) is as active as I get in the pool. Let's just say that I will likely not be embarrassing myself again by attempting this next week.

So - on to the next attempts to get this baby to flip herself around. The next tactic involves taking an upside down position on an ironing board that is reclined against the couch (or stairs). This should be about as graceful looking as the head stand in the pool. Maybe next I'll just have Dan hold my by the ankles and shake me up and down.

Okay - so the truth is, I don't really have to worry about this right now. The doctor said that they don't start to worry about the breech position until 37 weeks - which means I have a little less than 5 weeks. However, I am a planner - which means that if we can go ahead and get her head down in advance then we will be ahead of the curve. My other concern is that since she is measuring big (which I also know I have to take with a grain of salt) is that she will get to big to turn and then there will be nothing I can do. So - none of these things are going to hurt the situation (at least in theory....) so I may as well try.

Why is this so important? It isn't ... truthfully. Although I would really like to do this whole birth thing the natural way (of course I am not above accepting the epidural)! So why do I want to do it the natural way? Because I have a fear of doing pregnancy wrong. Even though many people I know, many wonderful mothers in fact gave birth by c-section, somehow I believe that this child birth thing is an experience I want. In the end, what I really want is for Amabo to come the safest way possible for her and for me ... and if that is via a c-section because she is a giant baby who refuses to turn then que sera!

On another note: In a recent email exchange with a good friend who has offered to dog sit and clean house while we are in the hospital laboring away (and when I say we, I mean me!), she wrote, "Knowing you, it will be a quick labor, which you will have pre-planned into 15 minute increments. Everyone, including A-bot [Amabo], will have a copy of the birthing itinerary, and they damn well better stick to it." I was pleased at this remark because it shows how well this friend truly knows me. It's true. And for the record, as part of the birthing plan it states that Amabo will not be in the breech position - clearly she has not read her copy of the plan! Really, though, I do everything by a schedule. When I was in college (not that I am proud of this ... well, yes I am), I used to take the syllabi for my classes and break out the number of pages, etc...that I had to read each night in order to get through the book/chapter/project by the due date. I clean by a schedule, I work by a schedule. Everything is a schedule. It is the way that I keep myself organized and therefore sane. I have a feeling the motherhood may change some of these things - in fact, pregnancy is teaching me in many ways to let go of the things that I cannot control. Clearly, I still believe that I can control the position that Miss Amabo is in!

Checking in with some Updates

Well today is February 4, 2009. That means only 58 calendar days to the expected due date; or about 8 weeks if you prefer. I am looking forward to holding her more than anything for the first time. Crying or not, I do not think I will be able to describe it, it will be cool.

I am still worried about the whole process but am getting much better at letting that go. I take one look into the world around us and know that I can handle this. It will be one of the hardest things I have ever done in life while being the most rewarding thing as well. Sort of reflects the normal trials and tribulations that life throws at us on a daily basis.

This weekend the baby showers commence. I think there are three planned. One this weekend, one in two weeks in Asheville, and another one in early March from her co-workers. This should be a good time and hopefully we will get some of the much needed stuff we are lacking at this point. I am not too worried about the kid going nekkid, but some other things sure would be nice.

We have a doctors appointment next week, should be a quick routine visit in and out. So far I have been able to make it to all the visits and hope to continue this till she gets here. We also have visited one pediatrician with another visit scheduled for next. I am not certain what to expect at these. I don’t think they are going to roll out the bloody doctor that admits to beating children while smoking a crack pipe. Instead the offices are all nicely groomed and doctors come out and chat about what to expect. I like the first one a little because they had an old doctor and a really young one. I think that would give us a wide range of treatment options.

Also next week we start birthing class or Lamaze class of you prefer. Again, no idea what to expect there, should be interesting. I am hoping my irreverence will get me through it or else I do know what might happen.

Thanks for all of you who read this. Also thank all of you for your thoughts and prayers during this process, we could not do it with you and the big guy upstairs.

Germs

After an event at work yesterday evening, a coworker remarked to me, "You're going to let your child eat of the floor, aren't you?" 5 second rule! You may wonder what sparked this comment - It isn't really relevant to the story. Here is my take on germs - exposure to germs builds immunity! And as my assistant pointed out, she was born in a third world country and lived there for several years before moving to the United States - and she never gets sick. So there you have it.

We went to the doctor today - we are now on the every two weeks schedule. It will be like this until week 36, when I will go in once a week until the baby is born. Today we had another ultrasound - this was a follow-up to the 3D ultrasound we had done about two weeks ago. During that ultrasound, the sonographer noticed that one of the lateral ventricles in the brain was measuring at the high end of normal. So what does this mean? It means nothing, thankfully! I will get to what it could have meant in a minute after I tell you the information we got today. The sonographer measured again and while the lateral ventricle is still measuring large, it hasn't gotten any larger, which is great news. It means that fluid is not building up in her little brain. Both the sonographer and the doctor were very pleased and ordered no future ultrasounds and declared the issue "resolved."

What could it have meant? Well, a number of things. If the ventricle continued to get larger it would mean that fluid was not draining from the brain properly. In many cases this condition is mild and usually resolves itself after birth. In other cases, it means more - the child might have to have brain fluid drained upon birth, might have to have surgeries to deal with this and it could also mean more serious problems like brain tissue damage, which as we know could mean a whole host and range of other issues.

So when I got the call two weeks ago after the 3D ultrasound from my doctor to say that the ventricle was measuring at the high end of normal and they wanted me to do another ultrasound in two weeks to monitor the situation, my mind started racing. The doctor didn't seem concerned on the phone, but this news had Dan and I very anxious. I spent the next 48 hours surfing the internet looking for information, finally finding some sites that had stories from the very good to the very very bad. The upsetting thing about it was that I had no control - there was absolutely nothing that I could do to fix it for Amabo. Nothing. Even if the ultrasound today would have revealed that the ventricle was larger, there is still nothing that can be done until the baby is born - other than worry. I felt completely helpless and completely alone. For the first time since this journey began, I prayed for Amabo by her real name (even though God knows who she is regardless). I have spent the past two weeks in nothing but prayer, praying for peace.

Looking back over the last 14 days, it would be easy to say that all of this worry was for naught. But, that is not the conclusion that I came to today. I learned a lot in the last two weeks, about myself, about my ability to love and most of all about my faith. I know that not all of our readers are of the spiritual variety - so I won't blame you if you quit reading here. But, I want to say that this is the second time in my entire life that I have handed my worries completely over to God and he took care of me - immediately. I didn't pray for the outcome that I wanted, I just handed my worries to God and prayed for comfort and strength.

So, now you know the rest of the story behind my previous blog. I apologize to family and friends for not sharing all of this sooner, but I went through several stages of emotion before I could really talk about all of my fears and worries for Amabo - I first had to process what the doctor had told me two weeks ago, then I had to fact find all the information available about the possible condition, and then I had to let it go. And in the process of letting go, I had to get to today. And if the outcome had been differently today, I would have shared at that point because I would have known much more. But for the past two weeks all we could do was wait and I knew that in the emotional state I was in, I would not be able to handle all the inquiries. So, I just asked for your prayers. So, thank you, for helping me through your prayers.

I Do It Mytelf

If Dan blogs, then I have to blog ... after all, we can't have him having the last word! Just kidding - well kind of.

I am glad that Dan posted pictures of our nursery. We are very proud of it and are excited to see it fill up with all kinds of goodies from clothes to diapers and much much more -- oh yeah, and the baby! And just to note - NO, the dogs cannot and will not jump into the crib on their own. So don't worry! We had to pick them up and place them in the crib and they honestly didn't like it all that much. So no, Amabo won't have any furry visitors joining her in the middle of the night. After telling someone, though, about how the dogs were in the crib, the remark was "Oh, so now you have to vacuum the crib?" My response, "What? Are you kidding me?" Seriously friends, Amabo will have to get used to dog hair sooner or later because it runs rampant in our house...what better way then to just add it to the crib?

As we approach the end of this journey....only 10 more weeks now...the reality is starting to set in. On the one hand, 10 weeks feels like an eternity. On the other hand, I cannot believe that we are only 2 1/2 months away. Where did the last 7.5 months go? So, as we reach the finish line, I would like to put out a request to friends and family. Please pray for us and Amabo. Pray for our peace and comfort as we approach the most joyous and the hardest time in our lives, pray that all continues to go well with the last leg of this pregnancy and most of all, pray for Amabo's health and safety as God finishes making her ready for us.

As I reflect on the journey behind us and the journey that lies ahead, I came to one of the hardest realizations of my life - I cannot do this on my own. So many times in my life, I have relied on myself to get things done - so much so that we have a common phrase in my family to describe my personality -"I Do It Mytelf." This is what I would say as soon as I could start talking - my mom would try to help me brush my teeth. My response, "I do it mytelf." My mom would help me get dressed. I would push her away saying, "I do it mytelf." That started maybe when I was three (I am a little fuzzy on the timeline!), but the mentality is something that has been with me ever since. By golly, don't help me, I will do it myself! So realizing that being a mother is not something that I can do on my own was a humbling experience. You see, all I have wanted to do for the past 7 plus months and all I want to do for the next rest of Amabo's life is protect her. This is an overwhelming feeling of responsibility - especially when I realized that there are some things that are and will be beyond my control. For the past week and half, I have been so wrought by this this feeling of responsibility, that my every day life has been impacted. How is it that God trusts me so much to give me the ability to care for another human child? How can I possiblty care about anything else other than this tiny child that I have yet to meet?

I am not sure if my rambling is making a bit of sense tonight. And I am sure that even I will read it later and think, "what was I talking about?" But maybe, some of you are understanding exactly what I mean and perhaps I don't even need to go further.

Apologies for the less than humorous blog....I promise there will be more funny stories to tell later. For now, please add us to your prayers.

Just Checking In

It’s been a while and I thought I would do a little blog update. Luckily, SC has been doing great at keeping people abreast of our situation and her health. I think I have said this before but I will say it again, I am excited that she likes the blog and participates so much. Otherwise, you would have to hear more from me when she is the one with the stories.

We went up to DC this week for the inauguration. Unfortunately, we were one of the thousands of people with tickets that were turned away for one reason or another, but we can say that we were there. While in our ticketed line to get in, the crowd started to get restless so we got out before there was some real pushing and shoving. SC did well and tolerated the crowds longer than I did. I was very protective of her and if we had not gotten out when we did, I may have been the only person arrested trying to keep people off of her.

We head back to the doctor next week for a check up so please keep us in your thoughts and prayers. The nursery has come a long way and looks like an actual place a baby would sleep and hang out. In the upcoming months we will be having the baby showers so that should be a good time. I hear the guy doesn’t have much of a role at them and that is fine with me. We have also signed up for an Infant CPR and First Aid class in the coming month. Until next time, I am out!

Let them eat cake....in moderation

I had the three-hour glucose test yesterday and in an effort to try and pass I googled all the different ways that I could try and "trick" the test to make sure I passed! Ha! My google searches turned up very little, except for other pregnant women who were asking the same sorts of questions. I got the results back this morning and I do not have gestational diabetes - which is a good thing; however, one of the four blood tests they took yesterday did come back high for blood sugar, so I have been advised to cut back on the sugars. I didn't intake a lot of sugar anyway, but I will now be cutting out processed sugars as well.

I will be writing more later - probably over the weekend. For now, I just wanted to offer a quick update on the glucose test.